Metal Witch
The story of Metal Witch Natas, AKA "Asshole", protagonist and featured character alongside other witches of varying temperaments and varying degrees of "I want to bully Natas".
Through extraordinary acts of "applied physics and chemistry", the resident witches of Golgotha live a rather idyllic lifestyle of watching TV, eating snacks, and complaining about the loud-ass town bell. Only when they either run out of snacks or find that Natas hasn't been bullied enough for quite some time do they get off of their lazy butts to engage with one another.
Meet the Witches
(At the cost of extreme radiation poisoning)
Metal Witch Natas
AKA:
"Stupid Witch"
"Loser Witch"
"Short Witch"
"Punk-ass Witch"
"Asshole"
-Possesses the ability to instantaneously shift her entire body and any adjoined biological material (leather, wool, other people) into a solid mass of impervious metal. Speculated to contain hints of phase V hydrogen, osmium, gallium, and titanium.
-Owns an Afghan Hound dog named Turtle that meows like a cat
Grass Witch MacBallaban
AKA:
"Stupid Witch"
"Weed Witch"
"Stoned Witch"
"Green Witch"
"Green Whistle"
"Fat Witch"
"Big Titty Witch"
"Blind Witch"
-Is able to manipulate and influence the properties of most ecological and geological entities within her domain while also being able to manifest into existence synthetic imitations of the same chemical structures, leading others to actually consider her more of a capable dictator of all things not zoological
-Owns and displays the Pastoral Study painting by Pinkham Ryder (1897)
Hot Witch Krav
AKA:
"Stupid Witch"
"Fried Witch"
"Crispy Witch"
"Lava-Lava"
"Red Delicious Asshole"
-Governer of the Lava Lands and enjoyer of the rockabilly genre
Wet Witch Oizo
AKA:
"Stupid Witch"
"Sloppy Witch"
"Frigid Witch"
"Drink-Drink"
"Slippery Bastard"
-Governer of the Cold Lands and enjoyer of the ska genre